Slovenia.

I’ve known for a long time that my father’s side of the family has roots in Eastern Europe.  I know that my grandmother had two Yugoslavian parents who emigrated to Oregon City in the early part of the century.  But, beyond that, my knowledge is fairly limited.  This is probably a result of the fact that I don’t ask my family enough questions.  Or that my grandmother does not answer question very well.  Or, I should say, she does not always answer them very precisely.  Her stories are very circular.  And as we know, circle have no real starting point and no ending point.  At least, no logical one.   By grandmother’s narrative style aside, I have a chance to visit former Yugoslavia, which is now the nation of Slovenia which is located on the east of Austria, north of Italy, and west of Croatia.  I would like to use this limited form of “mass” communication to thank my Grandmother Bena for getting me in touch with her sister (who I had never met) and her brother-in-law and supplying me with so much information on Slovenia and making my visit there a real possibility.  I have sent letters to some cousins in Slovenia and will hopefully receive a response from them in the upcoming weeks.  I hope to see the villages of both my Great Grandfather and Great Grandmother.  They were from different villages and did not meet until they both arrived in Oregon City.  I am excited about visiting Eastern Europe and getting in touch with my roots.  So often in my youthful rebellion I feel like my life and experience is an island.  That I am somehow separate from my family and those around me. The limited information I have discovered already has been eye-opening for me.  I can only imagine more great things to be learned as I move closer to actually going to Slovenia and discovering parts of my past I never knew about.  I really hope this works out.   

Crows: A Response by Drew Grissom

It has come to my attention recently that there is a certain feeling of animosity towards a certain two-winged creature that is prevalent all around the SPU campus. Like a broken record, daily I hear of students’ disgust for this animal, and his seemingly illogical way of living. I believe this animosity stems from a much deeper root of misunderstanding. I am here to dispel many of the misconceptions of our fiendish friend, the crow.

            Let my first begin by saying SPU students have not been known to be very open to non like-minded people. The image that comes to mind is of Christian Shields bashing his fists on a Bible (King James of course, NIV is for sinners) during the equality rider’s debate. I believe this closed-mindedness aimed towards any thing of dissimilar stance is hindering the SPU community of becoming a more tolerant university. This brings me to the crows themselves.

            Michael likes to bring up the point that the crows do not care for the environment. I find this ironic coming from Michael, who consistently tries to fuck Mother Nature by polluting the surrounding air with as much pipe smoke as humanly possible. However, this is neither here nor there; the point of this is that the crows are not environmentally unconscious of their behavior. They are simply teaching SPU students of the amount of waste we put in our trashcans daily. Have you seen crows around the campus? They are certainly not on their last legs, or pardon me, last talons if you will. These birds have a voracious appetite, and just the single dorm of Ashton seems to be sufficient enough sustenance for the entire flock of them. Living off our waste from the numerous half-eaten pumpernickel bagels from Noah’s, these birds have been able to sustain generations of their offspring. These black beauties are the original garbage men of God’s design. Surely, they should be revered for their capabilities of stewardship.

            Michael also likes to bring up the fact that crows seem to be violent creatures, consistently attacking the harmless members of our SPU community. To quote Michael, “Secondly, crows do not care about community. Simply, they attack people.  They are black violent rain drops that fall mercilessly on the good and peaceful.” First of all, this obviously racist rant is extremely unbefitting of the SPU community. If it was up to Michael I’m sure he would be here tomorrow with a wrecking ball in hand ready to tear down the John Perkins Center brick by brick. Racism perhaps is the most severe threat that the crows face today. The underlying racism that is still prevalent in today’s society is flung upon the crows from every direction. Like a mighty wind that blows the crows off of the path of freedom, we stomp the crows into submission. To quote the great freedom fighter Kanye West, “Racism still alive, they just be concealin’ it” We are concealin (excuse my Ebonics) the fact that we are racist towards our unknown black friends. Martin Luther King would roll over in his grave if he heard us talk the way we do about the crows The crow is simply a unifying force of reconciliation (which ironically enough, is what the John Perkins center is striving to do) on the SPU campus.  After all, what color do we get when we mix all of the other colors together? Oh, that’s right, black. The color of the crow. 

            So what does Michael propose we do about the crow problem they ask? He purposes a forty-five-caliber bullet to the cranium that’s what. This is just another hypocritical solution of Michael. I have seen Michael at more peace rallies than Ben Climer, Sidney Sheehan, and the Dixie Chicks combined. Yet, the second a crow attacks Michael’s freedom, he unlocks the gun closet faster than you can say “Iraq War” It is obvious that the crow was just protecting it’s young, or maybe it was trying to build a new nest in Michael’s soul patch, who knows. All that is for sure is that the crow is in step with the American way of thinking. Michael looks like a terrorist from a far. And how do we fight terrorism one may ask? Easy, with pre-meditated attacks or clever bumper sticks.  The Crow, not having enough surface area to stick a love it or leave it bumper sticker on, was just protecting the terrified citizens of Emerson with a well executed dive-bomb attack. The terrified Emerson students were very thankful to the crow after they had reported sightings of a strange homeless man sleeping on their couches, and this seemed to be the culprit. I purpose we do something to recognize the crow’s heroism. We should give him 200 purple hearts and a Nobel Peace Prize. That, or maybe Michael’s beard to insulate the crow’s young in the cold winters.

            Where does that leave us with the crow? I feel sorry for the poor misguided SPU students whom consistently belittle and degrade the crow with their insistent mocking. Take pride in your plight persecuted crow brethren. There will one-day be a day where peace will run like the mighty Columbia through this great state of Washington. I don’t know when that day will come, but the English majors tell me it certainly isn’t when George Bush is president.

 

P.S I was the one who put out the cigarette on Eaton’s doorstep. He refused to give me more money to keep attending SPU.